La la laaaa....

• A random man tired to color in my leg with a blue pen today at church when I wasn't looking. Apparently he thought this was acceptable because I was wearing distressed jeans with a hole in them. Random man, please don't ever touch my leg again. It was really very awkward and made me extremely uncomfortable.

• Chad Buck is a very mean man that is continually trying to steal my joy. I can't really be too angry with him for it, though. If my mom had never loved me growing up, I would probably be bitter too. I humbly suggest that each of you send him a card with little hearts all over it this week.
  

• I just arrived home to find a man eating spider on my bathroom ceiling. I could see it's fangs. I couldn't reach it and was afraid to leave the bathroom to get something to stand on for fear of it running for cover just to come out and kill me in my sleep. We had a staring match for about twenty minutes at which point he decided to make his move. That's when I struck. I think I won. Except his ginormous body has disappeared. He seems like he may have been a two hit kind of guy and this worries me. I'm once again accepting applications for "Sugar Daddy" and I'm adding 24 hour spider removal service to the responsibilities list. Please submit your application for review.

That is all.